Friday, January 6, 2012

The Blue Robe

It has been 13 months since Mother died. A whole year has passed and then some... There are days when I can go easily without tears, still remembering her but in a good memory way.

We have almost finished clearing her house of her things, but the basement still had a section of things left to sort out. As I am over there today going through some Christmas things, some old frames and some old clothes, I pull out this blue fleece, hold it up and realize that it is her robe. She loved that old robe and wore it all the time. We even have pictures of her in it the last month she was with us. I am sure my sister or I had put it in that box, but I don`t remember doing it. When I pull it out and realize what it is, I stop in my tracks, hold it tight for a minute and just have a little cry with myself, all alone in the basement. Wondering how I can be over there doing this? She should still be there, wearing her blue robe. Then reality pours down on me, like it always does, and I fold the robe up and lay it down to finish going through the things in the box.

I hear the second year is hard. But then again, I thought the first year was hard.... Somehow after it has been a year and the reality is really there... they are not coming back, it is hard, AGAIN?!! REALLY?!! At least that is what people tell me, and I can see where they are coming from when they say that. I talked with my sweet friend the other day who had lost her Mother 5 years ago, and the tears are still fresh in her voice, I can hear them as we talk about Christmas and how we missed our Mothers. The thing is, life goes on, I know that. That is how God planned it to be. I know death is part of life, that is how He planned it. Also, I know that relationships are gifts that He generously gives us. It is up to us what to do with them. Just thankful that we used our gift with our Mother. If we didn`t love her so much, we wouldn`t be missing her so much.

God is so good. He plans our days before we are even created. He knew it was her time to go to Him. He has blessed us all as we continue our journey here without her. New memories of holidays, birthdays and special events. She would have loved them, but she is so happy now, that we can`t even wish for her to be here with us. With that knowledge, with that hope that we have in our Lord, we can get up in the morning and face each new day with Him.

So, as I put the robe to rest, I am reminded that it is just a robe, an earthly possession. Mother couldn`t take it with her, she is enjoying all those heavenly treasures that are stored up for us in Heaven. Stuff..... clutter.... are just that. Temporary.... our time should be spent storing treasures that will last for eternity. Still missing our Mom, but loving to think about where she is and what she is doing!!

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